Archive | December, 2012

Does My Ex Still Love Me

31 Dec

If you can’t seem to get your ex off out of your mind, you are probably wondering if your ex is feeling the same way about you.  And, it is likely that you have been thinking about reconciling with your ex.  You are curious about the possibilities; however, you want to be cautious because you don’t want to face another breakup.  You want to know for certain if the question “does my ex still love me” can be answered with a “yes”!

Of course, you cannot exactly see what is in another person’s heart; however, there are several distinctive signs that will tell you without a doubt if your ex is still in love with you.  Check out the following list–if any of these characteristics describe the behavior of your ex, then you can be sure that your ex definitely loves you.

–Your ex keeps an eye on you behind your back.

Any ex who does this is most assuredly still in love!  After all, why else would he care about how you have been doing or what is going on in your life?  If he asks your friends about you or if he has his friends ‘accidentally’ run into you in order to check up on you, this is a very positive sign.

–When you speak with your ex, he continually brings up memories of when you were together.

If he is thinking a lot about the good times of your relationship, he is thinking about what it would be like if the two of you were back together.  Chatting together about “remember whens” is not typical ex conversation–this means that he is feeling loving toward you.

–Your ex contacts you frequently.

Most of the time when people break up, they don’t phone each other much.  So, if your ex is calling you on a regular basis, this shows that he is thinking of you regularly.

–Your ex seems to show up wherever you are.

Has this happened again and again?  Well, it isn’t an accident that he is turning up all the time–no matter what he says.  He keeps coming around because he has a need to be around you.  His need to be around you comes from the love that he still has for you.

–Your ex apologized for the breakup of the relationship.

This one is a biggie.  A lot of guys have a hard time admitting that they are at fault in a relationship; therefore, if your ex apologizes for his wrong-doing in the relationship (regardless of whether or not that wrong-doing was the actual cause of the breakup), this shows that he really cares.  It shows that he wants you to know that he feels sorry for how the relationship went and that he wishes he could make things right somehow.

All of these signs point to one clear answer–love.  You don’t need to wonder “Does my ex still love me?” any longer. Just think about your ex’s behavior, and you will know.

Dealing With A Marriage In Crisis

30 Dec

Marriage isn’t easy, even in the best of times.  But in the worst of times–when a marriage is going through a period of difficulty–marriage can be quite demanding.  This is why divorce is so common nowadays.  There is, however, a method in which a couple can deal with a marriage in crisis.

This method works no matter what type of crisis the couple is hit with, whether it is a death or illness in the family, a natural disaster, trouble with the law, problems with children, or some other type of issue.

How can couples deal with a critical juncture in their marriage?  The basic method involves having a plan in place ahead of time, before such an eventuality occurs.  In other words, the couple needs to know how to handle an emergency or urgent problem before any type of predicament happens.  The tactics outlined below will suffice for most couples in working out most any type of critical situation.  By following these suggestions, couples should be able to deal with any marriage crisis as it arises.

–Do not blame each other for the circumstances or situation that you are in.  Blaming does not solve anything, and it could make things worse as it can increase hostility between the two of you.  Instead, be in control of your own actions and be supportive of your spouse’s needs.

–Try to lower your expectations of how everyday life should function when dealing with a marriage predicament.  For example, you may need to eat meals out more often rather than cooking at home as you usually would.  Or, you may have to let the housekeeping slide if there isn’t time to handle the regular daily upkeep of the home.

Do not expect your spouse to pick up your slack as far as everyday life activites go; instead, consider hiring outside help or asking friends for assistance.  By not placing extra work on your spouse, the difficult period in your life will likely be less traumatic because you will be able to rely on your spouse for support.

–Make sure that you are communicating well with your spouse.  Do not use harsh language when speaking; rather, use calm, patient wording.  Speak to your spouse as you would like your spouse to speak to you.  Without good, strong communication, a marriage crisis can turn into material for a divorce–and this is definitely not what anyone wants.  So, be open-minded when having discussions and be sure to listen to your spouse’s point of view.  Above all else, be able to forgive and move on if there are any issues with miscommunication.

–Approach the situation together.  A marriage in crisis is a problem for the couple, not for one spouse or the other; therefore, both people in the marriage need to work together in order to be able to get past the trauma.  Working together can mean facing the problem as one or it can mean getting therapy as a couple; this will depend upon the exact crisis that the couple is having.

3 Nice Tips On How To Get Your Lover Back

29 Dec

If your lover just broke up with you, but you are still deeply in love, chances are you would love to learn how to get your lover back.  After all, your love is telling you that you belong together!  Maybe down deep in your heart you are certain that you are soul mates.  Soul mates deserve to be together, don’t they?  Of course they do–but, it may take a bit of time and effort to get your lover to realize that.  Your lover needs to come to understand the reasons why you belong together; only then will he return to you.

There are, however, some ways in which you can help to get your lover to become conscious of the reasons why the two of you are, indeed, made for each other.  If you follow these tips, your relationship will be back on course before long.

1. Back away from your lover.

This sounds counterintuitive; after all, you want to be back with your lover, not apart from him.  But, this advice is sound because after a breakup, your lover will need some space and time to think.  If you are constantly hanging around, talking about how much you still love him and need him, it will only serve to make him think that he was right to break up with you because you are overbearing and needy.

Instead, refrain from speaking about your feelings for him.  It is ok to show that you still care; for instance, you could still call him if he has a death in the family.  Do not go overboard, though; buying him a $200 watch for his birthday is not appropriate when you have broken up.  Also, in giving him space and time it is wise to stay away from him most of the time.  Sure, drop in at a party where he will be or grab a coffee at his favorite coffee shop; however, if you do this too often it will seem like you are hovering around him.

2. Avoid calling or texting your lover.

This can be difficult, to be sure.  There are likely to be a million times each day that you want to pick up the phone just to call or text him, yet this is the last thing that you should do.  Why?  Well, cutting off communication is the best way to get your lover to begin to miss you.  And, if he starts to miss you, that will certainly lead to him coming back to you!

3. Live your own life.

Don’t sit at home sulking and crying about your breakup.  It is important that you go out and have fun with your friends and spend time with family–even if you really do not feel like doing so.  This is because your lover will hear what you have been doing, and you don’t want him to hear that you have simply been pining away for him.

If you give your lover a chance to see that your relationship is meant to be, you will get your lover back.

How Can I Cope When I Miss My Girlfriend

28 Dec

No matter who ends a relationship or why, breakups are painful.  They can make a person feel as if the world is about to end.  The hurt that comes from a breakup can pierce a person’s heart, making it feel as if it has broken, or even shattered.  And it is incredibly difficult to get over missing a former mate.

The recovery period after a relationship ends may be a few days long or a few months long–there is no telling how long it will take a person to be ready to move on.  And some people have no idea how to begin getting over an ex, or how to cope with their loss (and yes, the end of a relationship does qualify as a loss, as it is the loss of love).

If this sounds like you, if all you can think is “I miss my girlfriend,” then you need to read the suggestions below.  They will help you learn how to get past the heartbreak of this ended relationship, and they will help you to find a way to feel strong enough to move on.

First of all, you do need to know that it is completely ok to feel the way that you are feeling.  A lot of guys tend to hide the fact that they are upset by a breakup; however, it is far healthier to admit that you are sad or angry or hurt.  You should even go ahead and cry if you feel the need.  Make sure to talk to friends about the relationship as well and let them know how you are feeling; good friends will offer advice or insight.

Go ahead and take care of yourself at this time when you are missing your girlfriend.  Pamper yourself, even, by making sure to do the things that you love best.  Rent or Netflix some popular movies (no chick flicks are necessary now!) and snack on your favorite junk food.  Have a guys’ poker night or guys’ night out.

Now, before you go out and start dating other people you are going to want to get all of your old feelings for your girlfriend out.  Do not do this by calling her or emailing her!  Instead write a letter, including all of the reasons you were hurt and why you miss her.  Also include all of the reasons why you are glad the relationship ended–mention all of her bad habits that used to get on your nerves and all of her irritating little quirks, for instance.  Let everything out in the letter.  But–and this is VERY important–do NOT mail the letter (mailing the letter would be quite counterproductive, as it would bring your girlfriend back into your life).  Burn it instead, as a symbol of letting all of your old feelings dissipate and go away.

When “I miss my girlfriend” is all you can think, try the plan above–it can truly help you to cope when you are feeling as if you cannot go on after a relationship ends.

He Dumped Me – How Do I Get Over It

27 Dec

Everyone hopes that their relationships will stand the test of time.  Unfortunately, though, many relationships fail–and most of us end up dealing with more than a few broken hearts during our lifetimes.  It’s tough enough when a breakup happens as a mutual decision; however, when a guy dumps you, that can make it even more difficult to handle.

If he dumped you and you need some help in getting over the loss, read the following suggestions and give them a try.  They will help you to live through the stormy days following the breakup and come out on the other side feeling ready to move on.

1.  Go ahead and grieve.

While it may sound melodramatic to ‘grieve’ over a breakup, you have experienced a deep loss.  Therefore, you need to grieve and get those emotions out.  For the first few days it is ok to cry and mope around and feel sorry about what you have lost.  Get support from close friends if needed, but do NOT contact your ex.  You need to let go of the relationship, act as if it is buried and gone.

2.  Get rid of any evidence of your ex.

Go through all of your belongings and get rid of everything that reminds you of the breakup.  Put away all photos of him and any gifts he gave you.  As for what to do with them, it depends.  You may want to pack up photos as possible mementos for years later.  With gifts, you may want to pack them up, sell them, give them away, or donate them.  It is completely your decision as to what to do; however, be sure to get everything out of your sight.

Don’t forget to change or remove any of your ex’s playlists on your iPod or MP3 player.  Change your telephone ringtones if necessary as well.  Eliminate all traces of him from your life so that there will be nothing to remind you of him on a daily basis.

3.  Make a list of what irked you about your ex.

Yes, right now you are still missing him because he dumped you; however, take a few moments and think about how your relationship really was.  There had to be some habits or quirks about your boyfriend that you found to be exasperating.  Write these down–as many as you can.  Think about everything, from big issues (maybe he refused to stop talking on his cell while driving, even though you considered this to be dangerous) to the little concerns (perhaps he often spilled sugar on the counter when makin his morning coffee and never wiped it up).

The point of making this list is to show you that your relationship was not perfect and that your ex is not worthy of being worshipped.  In addition, you may just see that there were troubles in the relationship…and that perhaps a part of you already realized that you two weren’t the ideal couple.

Maybe he dumped you–but you will survive and find a way to move on if you follow these suggestions.

How Can I Move On When She Broke My Heart

25 Dec

At some point, most everyone must deal with a broken heart.  For some people, the experience isn’t too horrid; perhaps a few weeks of sorrow and misery, and then they are back in the dating pool.  For other people, though, it can be quite traumatic when a relationship ends.  This may be because some people are more prone toward feeling grief and depression.

For many, the most anguish-ridden breakups are when a particularly long relationship has come to an end. No matter the reason, here are some suggestions for helping anyone move on after suffering extreme heartache.

If you have recently gone through a breakup, you are likely experiencing a good deal of sadness, bitterness, and pain.  Do you often think “she broke my heart“?  Then these suggestions will help you to move on and get past your feelings of despondency.  Try these ideas as soon as possible so that you can get back to feeling happy and confident in yourself.

–Face the facts, but be realistic.

Yes, your relationship ended.  Yes, “she broke my heart” is a good description of what happened.  Neither of these statements mean that there is anything wrong with you or that you are unlovable.  Nor do they mean that you will never find another person to love.  To think that is being unrealistic.

Be practical in your thoughts about your relationship.  The person you were with chose not to be with you, and that is what you must accept.  She was only one person, though, and her thoughts about you and this particular relationship will have no bearing on your future relationships.  Although she did break your heart, her power over you isn’t absolute–she cannot hurt you any more than you let her.

–Get your ex out of your home.

Pack up everything your ex ever gave you, as well as every photograph you have of her.  Some people might advise throwing these items away; however, you might want to keep some items to possibly revisit at a later stage in your life when you can do so with fond memories.  In any case it is completely your choice as to what to do with the items–just do something with them to get them out of sight.  Be sure to change any electronic settings she decided upon as well, such as phone messages and ring tones or alarm clock settings.

Getting rid of all of these trinkets and photos helps because you will no longer have constant reminders of her in every area of your home and life.

–Write a letter to your ex.

This letter will never be mailed.  Instead, it will serve to work out your frustrations with the heartbreak.  In the letter, write down all of your emotions, rant and rave, whatever it takes to make you feel better.  Read the letter each time you think about how “she broke my heart.”  Eventually, the feelings will dull and you will be ready to move on to a fresh new life without your ex.

How To Save My Marriage – Try Talking

24 Dec

Every marriage has problems and issues. And every couple has their own way of dealing with the troubles that come up in a marriage. Many times, people can work out their matters of contention through talking. But, there are a great many couples who lack the skills to handle problems through talking because they simply do not understand how to speak to each other correctly. These people need help learning how to appropriately talk to their spouses.

If you have trouble talking about problems with your spouse, and if you are wondering “how to save my marriage?” then this article is for you. You will learn some simple suggestions for dealing with issues in your marriage by talking–or, rather, by changing how you are talking.

When thinking about saving your marriage, you need to think about some habits of which you may be guilty. Of course, your spouse may have these habits as well. But, if you start working on changing how you speak to your spouse, chances are your spouse will follow suit, changing how he speaks to you. And, once the two of you begin speaking to each other respectfully and appropriately all of the time, your marriage will no longer need saving!

Here are the habits that you may need to change:

1. Complaining

Are you a big complainer, grumbling about anything and everything? This habit can be quite annoying–even if your spouse is a complainer as well. Complainers tend to look for the negative aspects of life rather than the positive. And, if you are a bellyacher, your spouse may be wondering what type of complaints you have about him. Try to complain only when necessary, such as if a restaurant meal isn’t up to par.

2. Criticizing

Many people feel comfortable criticizing their spouses because they do not feel threatened. However, your spouse is the last person you should criticize; after all, this is the person who vowed to love and cherish you until death. So, why are you purposely trying to find fault in this person? Or, if not that, why are you pointing out all of his faults?

3. Nagging

This type of behavior simply never works–it is just annoying. Instead of nagging, try gently suggesting to your spouse that you need something done. Then, if he doesn’t do it, let it go. No, this isn’t ideal in terms of getting things done; however, it does wonders for keeping peace in your marriage. As for the tasks your spouse doesn’t do, either do them yourself or hire some assistance.

4. Blaming

Do you blame your spouse when something goes wrong, regardless of whether or not it was his fault? This is not helpful at all; in fact, it leads to much frustration and unhappiness on the part of your spouse. Blaming is never helpful. Rather than blaming, try talking to your spouse when something goes wrong and working out how to solve the problem.

By changing the way you speak with your spouse, you will no longer need to worry about “how to save my marriage.”

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